He could still smell it--the constant stench of burning human waste. He could still see the emaciated people. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, children. Especially the children. "I was numb," says Holland. "I literally went from holding children in my arms--watching them die--to sitting back in the complete comfort of my American lifestyle."
Holland struggled with the incongruity. "Everything seemed uninteresting. The edge, the adrenaline I had felt in Haiti was no longer there. I didn't see anyone starving. I didn't see any armed guards. Everything was safe. Homogenized. I knew I needed to get back to my work, but the very thought bored me."
For two months, Holland wrestled to find meaning. He relentlessly questioned the value of art and music--the very basis of his professional career: With so much anguish and pain in the world, what is the value of living? Why paint beautiful flowers or perform lovely music, when tiny babies he had just planted with kisses were dying? What more is there--in this life and after? Where is the meaning? Finally, Holland picked up a brush, and began to paint.
A DOSE OF COLOR
He started with a child--a little girl he'd met in Haiti. Holland
speaks of this first painting-- "The Spirit of a Child"--in his book,
The Children of Haiti:
“We are tempted to consider this little child with a measure of pity.
We make a mental note to send a few dollars to Haiti to help people
like her.
But as we look closer we realize for the first time the obvious--that
she is someone's dear, innocent young daughter.
While so many artists might have chosen to paint a subject like this
child with an emphasis on her dismal situation, I chose to see the
miracle of life, that spark of creative beauty, a delicate flower in the
midst of her uncertain world. I painted the life within,
unconstrained by the external form. I painted the human spirit
with all its subtle, yet incredibly powerful energy.”
HOPE TAKES SHAPE
As Holland painted, the emotions flowed, healing took hold, and,
slowly, the answers came. The very style he chose to paint his
subjects--Impressionism--reflects vividly the meaning Holland
finally found.
"Art," says Holland, "is about communication. Art that lasts through the ages works symbolically. It triggers feelings and experiences that we've all had.
The Spirit of a Child, oil on linen, by Gary Holland.